K-12 Education: Untangled — Trends, Issues, and Parental Actions for Public Schools
Raising kids can be tough! I know because I’ve been a single mom who raised two kids on my own. And when they get in the K-12 public education system, learning the ins and outs of that system can get you all tangled up, especially when you’re a parent of color. You need to know about the current trends and issues as well as resources necessary to navigate within the system. That’s what the K-12 Education: Untangled podcast is all about — providing you with tools, information and practical actions to help you and your children succeed within the complexities of K-12 public education.
K-12 Education: Untangled — Trends, Issues, and Parental Actions for Public Schools
Episode 127: Redefining Success — Navigating Life's Changing Stages and Transitions
Success is a moving target that shifts as we journey through life's stages. Join me as I explore how success evolves beyond the confines of wealth, embedding itself in our emotions, self-awareness, and ability to cultivate resilience and peace of mind. You'll gain insights into why childhood exploration is crucial for future success and the importance of trying new things to unlock our innate strengths. Together, we'll uncover the critical role of social bonds, gratitude, and motivation in enriching our definition of success, ultimately intertwining it with happiness, mental health, and life satisfaction.
Major life transitions, like marriage and parenthood, can flip our understanding of success on its head, demanding a delicate balance between personal dreams and growing responsibilities. I'll share my personal stories from early motherhood, highlighting how health and well-being can be pivotal in achieving a fulfilled life. Discover strategies for maintaining this balance through mindfulness, time management, and technology use. I'll also touch on the essence of contentment and internal satisfaction, urging a shift from seeking external validation to embracing gratitude and joy in life's journey. Tune in to transform your perspective on success and cultivate a life rich in personal happiness and satisfaction.
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Welcome to another episode of K-12 Education Untangled. My name is Dr Kim J Fields, former corporate manager turned education researcher and advocate, and I'm the host of this podcast. I got into this space after dealing with some frustrating interactions with school educators and administrators, as well as experiencing the microaggressions that I faced as an African American mom raising my two kids, who were in the public school system. I really wanted to understand how teachers were trained and what the research provided about the challenges of the public education system. Once I gained the information and the insights that I needed, I was then equipped to be able to successfully support my children in their education and progress. This battle-tested experience is what I provide as action steps for you to take. It's like enjoying a bowl of educational research with a sprinkling of mother wisdom on top. If you're looking to find out more about current information and issues in public education that could affect you and your children, and the action steps that you can take to give your children the advantages they need, then you're in the right place. Thanks for tuning in today. I know that staying informed about K-12 public education trends and topics is important to you, so keep listening. This is my regular end of month personal, insightful episode that addresses issues like personal development, parenting and other thought-provoking topics. These once a month episodes are geared toward helping you as you navigate being a person, a parent, a friend and a career professional.
Speaker 1:In this episode, I'll be sharing my thoughts about defining success at different stages of your life. What does success look like for you? For most of us, the definition of success is a personal one. Success also varies at different stages of our lives. When we're younger, success has a different focus than it does with a couple more decades under our belts. For instance, when you're in your 20s, success could look like having steady employment, having your own place to live and enjoying time with your friends. When you're in your 40s, success could be defined by parenthood, gaining recognition and having a sought-after reputation in your career field, and home ownership. The fact is that success varies as we transition through different phases in our lives. I explore some of the key characteristics of success throughout life's journey in this episode, because success evolves over time. Let's untangle this.
Speaker 1:Here are some key points to consider when thinking about success. One point would be understanding that success is more than wealth. There are emotional and psychological aspects of success. These aspects include emotional fulfillment. True success often brings a deep sense of joy and satisfaction stemming from achieving what genuinely matters to any particular person. It's about doing things that bring joy and fulfillment on a personal level. When you're in your 20s, you're generally still figuring out what truly matters to you and what brings you fulfillment on a personal level. This type of inner work usually doesn't even come into awareness until the mid-30s.
Speaker 1:Another emotional and psychological aspect of success is self-acceptance. Success can lead to increased self-esteem and acceptance because it allows you to feel validated in your abilities and your worth. It allows you to embrace your strengths and acknowledge your accomplishments. Self-acceptance develops over time and is usually generated after having some life experiences that you, dare I say, no longer wish to repeat. That's one of the eye-opening things about looking back at your 20s, when you recognize that some of the crazy things you did and celebrate not being in that phase anymore. The experiences of the 20s are something that we all go through and hopefully learned some things about ourselves. That causes us to not repeat some of those experiences, but also to accept that we're always learning and growing.
Speaker 1:Another piece to this emotional and psychological aspect of success is confidence and self-efficacy. Is confidence and self-efficacy. Success often builds confidence, reinforcing the belief in your capabilities to achieve the desired outcomes and goals that you establish for yourself. This confidence can motivate further growth and ambition. Along with that is emotional resilience. Experiencing success can foster resilience by teaching you how to navigate both wins and setbacks effectively, contributing to emotional strength and stability. Failure can also produce resilience, because if you keep striving, you will eventually succeed. Knowing how to overcome setbacks not only builds resilience, it helps you appreciate when you do succeed. Inner peace is another component of the emotional and psychological aspects of success. Finding success in alignment with personal values can promote an inner sense of peace and contentment, reducing stress and anxiety associated with external pressure. Social connection is another piece of this emotional and psychological aspect to success, because success often enhances social bonds, since you often find yourself surrounded by supportive communities and networks that share similar values or goals. There are so many ways to be connected to others these days, so make it a point to find your community, one that supports you, that lifts you up and that encourages you.
Speaker 1:Gratitude and appreciation are an important aspect of success. Achieving success can heighten your sense of gratitude for the journey, experiences and individuals who contributed along the way. Along the way. Appreciating and giving gratitude even for the small things can help you develop emotional ties to success. Work-life balance is always a critical part of success and, from an emotional and psychological aspect, well-being is enhanced when success includes balance, which is the ability to embrace personal life and work commitments harmoniously. And finally, on this topic of emotional and psychological aspects of success, motivation is a key piece. Experiencing success can inspire continued growth, sparking motivation to set and pursue new aspirations, thereby sustaining a cycle of personal development and achievement. Personal development and achievement All of these aspects emphasize that success is not just about achieving external benchmarks, but it's deeply connected to personal happiness, mental health and overall life satisfaction.
Speaker 1:A second point to consider about success is the success that happens during childhood through exploration. It's important to encourage young people to try new things, because they'll learn what they like and what they dislike, what they succeed at more easily than other things, what they succeed at more easily than other things. During this phase of childhood, typically between the ages of 5 to 12, it's important also to take action on things that are new, to explore beyond what's commonplace and to learn new things In that learning process. Failure and risk-taking are part of the learning process, and it helps to build resilience in these early stages of childhood. A third point to keep in mind about success is in the area of career milestones and personal growth.
Speaker 1:The balance between professional achievements and personal development is about mindset changes that can lead to those professional achievements. It's about pursuing lifelong learning and skill acquisition. Staying curious is a key factor in becoming a lifelong learner. It's about constantly developing your mind, learning new concepts and experimenting with different skills. There are a number of ways to do this. Belonging to professional organizations that offer courses or webinars or conferences is a great way to develop skills. Attending lectures at local colleges and universities, even at the library, is another great way to stay current on trending topics. I personally love taking courses, exploring new concepts and keeping up with a couple of industries that I have professional certifications in. Those would be in project management and business analysis. The webinars and conferences that are put on by these organizations are excellent in keeping me current with what's happening in these industries. They are also great ways to keep my credentials up to date, which keeps me marketable.
Speaker 1:The fourth area to consider in the realm of success deals with family and relationships, specifically, building and maintaining meaningful family connections, staying connected with friends and family, and having that rich network can be construed as another definition of success. The key here is to maintain the relationships that you value and to not get bogged down with trauma that could be harmful to you personally. It's important to let go of any relationship that's no longer serving you to the best of your ability. This means that not all relationships you can just cut the cord on, but you can limit your exposure to those non-beneficial relationships, to those non-beneficial relationships. Family and relationship connections to success also involve strategies for nurturing relationships through life's challenges. Keeping ties with friends that you've known for years is a great way to nourish those relationships. As with any relationship involving people, the relationship changes or develops over time. It ebbs and flows like a living organism. Friends come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Speaker 1:My husband recently told me about connecting with a quote-unquote friend on Facebook that he grew up with. Now, mind you, he hasn't talked to this person in over 70 years. That's seven, zero. I found it amusing and kind of sad, actually, because I couldn't possibly think of how there would be a connection with someone you haven't spoken with in seven decades. There's just no way to catch up and have an enriching relationship with that person, but to each his own.
Speaker 1:Also in the family and relationship arena is the concept of intergenerational wisdom that's shared within families. One thing about having connections with family is the intergenerational wisdom that's shared within families. One thing about having connections with family is the intergenerational wisdom that can be shared. I appreciate learning from the elders because the experiences and the paths that they have traveled can provide gems of wisdom for me. When the opportunity arises, I also like to share pearls of wisdom with my children and grandchildren. I think it's important to give them a different perspective on what they consider to be earth-shattering in their lives at a particular time. I also find humor in some of the stories that they share, and this is another good way to build nurturing connections. A word of caution here that I live by as far as giving advice. If they don't ask, I don't trespass. Which brings me to the topic of adapting to life changes Another point to consider on the topic of success at different life stages. Point to consider on the topic of success at different life stages Navigating major life transitions like marriage, parenthood and retirement affects how you define success.
Speaker 1:Your definition of success changes through major life transitions like marriage, parenthood and retirement. Although many of you are not at the retirement stage, adapting to life changes like marriage and parenthood can redefine what success means to you. While you may have ideas of what success looks like at this stage, it changes due to being a spouse or a parent. It's just part of the natural circle of life and I'm not saying that you should put your success goals on a back burner, but they may have a lower priority, maybe even a less keen focus, when you're navigating the journey of being a spouse or a parent. Your aspirations and goals don't change during these transitions. They just may be more fluid. I would advocate that you never give up on your aspirations or your success goals. The key is to establish balance in your relationships and your personal pursuits. It may just be a matter of redefining your goals as circumstances change.
Speaker 1:One of the hardest adaptations that I had to make when I was a new mother was recognizing that the biggest goal of the day was taking care of my infant daughter planning dinner, washing clothes, cleaning my home, rinse and repeat. No longer was I managing technology projects, leading meetings, coordinating with other departments, etc. These simple tasks of being a stay-at-home mom required a sit-down meeting with myself to set new priorities and expectations. This transition taught me to appreciate the little things like spending one-on-one time with my baby, running the household to meet my expectations, and being grateful for the ability to take that precious time off. When I look back on it, the years I spent at home raising my two children at different stages my kids are three and a half years apart was priceless. I was young enough and competent enough that when I went back into the job market, I would be ready to restart my career. This is what worked for me during that phase of my life. Yet I totally understand how working mothers have to rely on family or daycare centers to care for their children while they work. Paid parental leave in this country is abysmal compared to other countries, but that's a soapbox topic for another day.
Speaker 1:Health and well-being is another aspect of success. Strategies for maintaining physical and mental health include exercise, eating healthy meals, utilizing mindfulness techniques, getting out in nature and being conscious of what we consume. Now I'm not just talking about food, but also consuming negative influences like the news, divisiveness and vitriol on social media, both of which affect mental health in subtle ways. One way that it affects mental and physical health is through a lack of sleep caused from worrying about what you just consumed from the news. Sleep is vitally important for health. Health is intertwined with overall quality of life and success. Without your health, you have nothing. Health is everything. You certainly don't have quality of life, although you may be successful on certain levels.
Speaker 1:Feeling vibrant, having vitality, is key to pursuing success in your life. Success requires stamina, energy to pursue your life's goals. Taking care of your health is your number one priority. Being successful, in whatever way you define it, comes second. I know this to be true because of the health situation that I've been dealing with for a number of years. I was so focused on pursuing my goals and maintaining a high level of success that I made my health a low priority Big mistake. I am still pursuing achieving a 100% healthy state as I redefine new definitions of success. The tasks that I complete in pursuit of my goals are on a limited schedule due to limited mobility. I get done what I can get done and, thankfully, I continue to persist. It's not optimal by any means, but I can tell you from experience that it is possible.
Speaker 1:One way to integrate wellness into your daily life is to take mental breaks throughout the day. Research indicates that taking a 10-minute break every hour to refocus your mind, to move, to get outside in nature is necessary for mental well-being as well as clarity. Another way to integrate wellness into your daily life is to utilize mindfulness techniques like visualization, meditation and journaling. A final way to integrate wellness into your daily life is to be mindful of the quality of foods that you're eating. A healthy diet just makes you feel good, doesn't it? Eating foods that nourish your body is beneficial on so many levels. Treat your body well and it will treat you well.
Speaker 1:Another point to consider about success is success in balance and contentment. This includes techniques for achieving the work-life balance, which is established by setting boundaries, prioritizing tasks, practicing time management techniques like time blocking or the Pomodoro technique, which help manage both work and personal activities. By allocating specific time slots for work tasks, family and self-care, you ensure balanced attention across life areas. Another part of this work-life balance is utilizing technology wisely. Of this work-life balance is utilizing technology wisely. Leverage tools and apps designed to enhance productivity and manage time effectively, like calendar apps, task management software and communication tools. At the same time, be mindful of disconnecting from work-related technology outside work hours to truly enjoy personal time.
Speaker 1:Understanding the role of contentment in being successful involves recognizing how internal satisfaction can influence and even redefine traditional notions of success. Important considerations here include internal versus external validation. Contentment emphasizes the importance of self-satisfaction and fulfillment over achieving external markers of success, such as wealth or status. It's about finding joy and purpose in your journey, regardless of societal expectations. Contentment also involves being present in the moment and appreciating current achievements and experiences. This type of mindfulness can lead to greater happiness and reduce anxiety about future goals or past regrets, which both enhance the feeling of success. Gratitude and appreciation also come into play in contentment, as well as balancing ambition with satisfaction. Now, while ambition drives progress, contentment ensures that you're also satisfied with where you are right now. Finding this balance helps prevent burnout and maintains motivation without sacrificing inner peace. A final piece regarding contentment and satisfaction is that contentment helps in accepting and adapting to life's changes. Viewing change as a natural part of life rather than as an obstacle can lead to a satisfying and resilient approach to success, thus allowing you to find joy in various circumstances.
Speaker 1:Success is also about contribution, and giving back. Contribution at any stage in life not only enhances the lives of others, but also brings personal fulfillment and a sense of purpose. Contributions include volunteer work. By engaging in volunteer activities within your community, this allows you to share your time and skills where they are needed most, whether it's mentoring, tutoring or community cleanups. Volunteering is a direct way to make an impact. It also includes under contributing meaningfully to success, mentorship and sharing knowledge. Offering your experience and insights to guide someone else, whether in the personal or professional context, can be very rewarding. Mentorship helps foster growth and learning for both the mentor and the mentee. Contribution also includes advocacy and activism. Getting involved in causes that you're passionate about, such as environmental protection or social justice, contributes to broader societal change. Advocacy work, from raising awareness to participating in campaigns, helps push important issues forward. Another way to contribute is to support local businesses and communities. Choosing to support local businesses or engage with community projects can have a powerful impact. Your participation helps strengthen local economies and build solidarity within the community.
Speaker 1:The key thing about contributing is that there are psychological benefits to helping others. These benefits include increased happiness, because engaging in acts of kindness and helping others releases endorphins, which are chemicals in the brain known to promote feelings of happiness and satisfaction. It also benefits through enhanced self-worth. Helping others can boost self-esteem and self-worth because it instills a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Knowing that your actions are making a difference can lead to a positive self-image. Another benefit is stress reduction. Acts of kindness and altruism can reduce stress levels can reduce stress levels. Focusing on others shifts the focus away from our own problems and leads to a reduction in stress and anxiety. Another psychological benefit of helping others is improved social connections. Helping others leads to forming stronger social bonds and connections. Developing relationships based on mutual assistance can provide emotional support and a sense of belonging. One additional benefit of helping others is increased gratitude and positivity. Helping others can foster a sense of gratitude and help you appreciate your own circumstances more deeply. This can lead to a more positive outlook on life and greater personal satisfaction.
Speaker 1:Because success changes through various life stages, it involves continuous redefinition. One of the key techniques to use for self-reflection and regular goal assessment as part of continuous redefinition is to do a weekly review of your accomplishments for the week. Determine what you were able to accomplish as well as those things that remain to be accomplished. As you work through your goals, this weekly assessment will help you determine where you are, as well as the next steps to get you where you want to be. The assessment also helps you keep on track while keeping your goals foremost in your mind. Developing this weekly habit will help you measure your personal success metrics. Will help you measure your personal success metrics Now. Aligning life goals with current realities is essential for ensuring can provide feedback, support and assistance in keeping your goals in line with reality. Lastly, again, visualization exercises work in this framework, as well as mind mapping to explore, brainstorming, different aspects of your life and how they're connected to your goals. The visualization exercises help you to imagine yourself achieving your goals and motivating as personal and external circumstances evolve.
Speaker 1:As is the usual case with these personal, thought-provoking episodes, I end with relevant quotes or a clean joke. I share this joke for your amusement. The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer, so a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?
Speaker 1:The lawyer thinks for a minute and says first, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay. Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles no, I didn't know that. Secondly, says the lawyer, did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children? And is unable to support his wife and six children? The stricken rep begins to stammer in apology but is cut off again. Third, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another who has learning disabilities, requiring an array of private tutors? The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says I'm so sorry, I had no idea. And the lawyer says so if I didn't give any money to them, what the hell makes you think I'd give any to you?
Speaker 1:Did you enjoy this episode? If so, go to my podcast website at k12educationuntangledbuzzsproutcom and leave me a text message about how you're enjoying my show. That's k12educationuntangledbuzzsprowcom, and leave me a text message about how you're enjoying my show. That's k12educationuntangledbuzzsproutcom. Go to the episode description and click on the send me a text message link Again, it's k12educationuntangledbuzzsproutcom and leave me a text message today routecom and leave me a text message today. If you don't want to miss out on any of the content that I've provided or what I'll be providing next, then be sure to subscribe to my podcast or whatever platform you're listening to this. Thanks for listening today. I hope you'll come back to more K-12 educational discussions with even more exciting topics to untangle. Until next time, aim to learn something new every day.
