K-12 Education: Untangled — Trends, Issues, and Parental Actions for Public Schools

Episode 80: Transforming Your Life — Conquering Negativity and Self-Doubt through Positive Self-Talk and a Growth Mindset

November 28, 2023 Kim J. Fields Season 2 Episode 80
Episode 80: Transforming Your Life — Conquering Negativity and Self-Doubt through Positive Self-Talk and a Growth Mindset
K-12 Education: Untangled — Trends, Issues, and Parental Actions for Public Schools
More Info
K-12 Education: Untangled — Trends, Issues, and Parental Actions for Public Schools
Episode 80: Transforming Your Life — Conquering Negativity and Self-Doubt through Positive Self-Talk and a Growth Mindset
Nov 28, 2023 Season 2 Episode 80
Kim J. Fields

"Send me a Text Message!"

Are you finding yourself entangled in the grips of negativity and self-doubt? On this episode, I guide you on a journey of self-discovery, as I uncover the profound impact of mindset and self-talk on our lives. Through candid personal narratives, I'll venture into my life with a partner who often leans towards negativity, highlighting the incredible power of optimistic self-talk and a positive mindset in overcoming such challenging environments. I'll dissect the three types of fear and uncover tactics to motivate oneself to see the silver lining in every situation. 

As you move further into my conversation, I'll uncover practical strategies to deal with those who frequently nurture negative mental narratives and lack mindfulness. Learn the significance of seeking professional help, setting boundaries, and cultivating mindful behavior. Together, let's transform negative self-talk into a positive narrative. I encourage you to share your thoughts and help others by spreading the word about my podcast. Tune in, transform and transcend to a better you with a powerfully positive self-talk and a rejuvenated mindset.

Listen to this episode on your Alexa-enabled device!

Support the Show.

  • Thanks for listening! For more information about the show, episodes, and ways to support, check out these websites: https://k12educationuntangled.buzzsprout.com or https: //www.liberationthrougheducation.com
  • Subscribe on Buzzsprout to receive a shout out on an upcoming episode
  • You can also support me with ratings, kind words of encouragement, and by sharing this podcast with friends and family
  • Contact me with any specific questions you have at: kim@liberationthrougheducation.com
K-12 Education: Untangled — Trends, Issues, and +
Become a supporter of the show!
Starting at $3/month
Support
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

"Send me a Text Message!"

Are you finding yourself entangled in the grips of negativity and self-doubt? On this episode, I guide you on a journey of self-discovery, as I uncover the profound impact of mindset and self-talk on our lives. Through candid personal narratives, I'll venture into my life with a partner who often leans towards negativity, highlighting the incredible power of optimistic self-talk and a positive mindset in overcoming such challenging environments. I'll dissect the three types of fear and uncover tactics to motivate oneself to see the silver lining in every situation. 

As you move further into my conversation, I'll uncover practical strategies to deal with those who frequently nurture negative mental narratives and lack mindfulness. Learn the significance of seeking professional help, setting boundaries, and cultivating mindful behavior. Together, let's transform negative self-talk into a positive narrative. I encourage you to share your thoughts and help others by spreading the word about my podcast. Tune in, transform and transcend to a better you with a powerfully positive self-talk and a rejuvenated mindset.

Listen to this episode on your Alexa-enabled device!

Support the Show.

  • Thanks for listening! For more information about the show, episodes, and ways to support, check out these websites: https://k12educationuntangled.buzzsprout.com or https: //www.liberationthrougheducation.com
  • Subscribe on Buzzsprout to receive a shout out on an upcoming episode
  • You can also support me with ratings, kind words of encouragement, and by sharing this podcast with friends and family
  • Contact me with any specific questions you have at: kim@liberationthrougheducation.com
Speaker 1:

Welcome to another episode of K-12 Education Untangled. My name is Dr Kim Fields, former corporate manager turned educational researcher and advocate, and I'm the host of this podcast. I got into this space after dealing with some frustrating interactions with school educators and administrators, as well as experiencing the micro discriminations that I faced. As an African American mom raising my two kids, who were in the public school system, I really wanted to understand how teachers were trained and what the research provided about the challenges of the public education system. Once I gained the information and the insights that I needed, I was then equipped to be able to successfully support my children in their educational progress. If you're looking to find out more about current information and issues in education that could affect you or your children, then you're in the right place. Thanks for tuning in today. I know that staying informed about K-12 education trends and topics is important to you, so keep listening.

Speaker 1:

On today's episode, I'll be sharing my thoughts on upgrading your mindset and its relationship to your self-talk. How do you overcome when your environment is constantly one in which your partner is negative, depressed, anxious, and you are the opposite of all those? Do you get dragged down in that cycle of gloom and doom, or do you choose to rise above it, to persist until you succeed, to motivate yourself, knowing that all is well? These are questions that I ponder as I make a very deliberate choice to focus on the positive and to up-regulate my mindset. Let me give you a very real scenario. I live with someone who chooses to focus on negative lack and limitation. This especially becomes noticeable when he's missing information or waiting on updates from business associates or family members. My spouse will create stories to fill in the gap of that missing information. Although the stories are false the majority of the time, something has to fill in that space and for him that something is usually negative and catastrophic in his mind. Can you relate? Do you know someone who has similar traits? As an observer of human behavior and a researcher, I wonder why some people seem to gravitate toward the worst case scenario. This is based on observation and habits that I see constantly repeated. There's no need to point these out, because a person has to be aware in order to notice habits and be willing to change them. We all have things we need to work on, and some of us pursue personal development in a deliberate daily practice. So, on this episode, I wanted to give you some food for thought regarding how our self-talk affects our mindset and what we can do about it. Let's get started.

Speaker 1:

Updating your mindset is closely related to your self-talk, because the way you speak to yourself, both internally and externally, has a significant impact on your mindset. Your mindset basically refers to your underlying beliefs and attitudes that shape how you perceive and respond to the world. What are you doing to persist in spite of fear? What kinds of things are you saying to yourself that leaves you constantly filled with anxiety or fear? There are three broad categories of fear Fear of loss, fear of process and fear of outcome. Which type of fear seems to be more prevalent for you? How do you motivate yourself to see all things working together for your good? A subtle perspective change from have to do something to get to do something can be profound. Instead of dreading how to make dinner, for example, a subtle perspective change of getting to make dinner can give you a different outlook on what you're doing. That's because there are some people who wish that they could get to the kitchen to make dinner, something to think about.

Speaker 1:

Positive self-talk can contribute to a growth mindset, which is the belief that your abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. On the other hand, negative self-talk can reinforce a fixed mindset where you may believe that your abilities are innate and unchangeable. There are some ways in which upgrading your mindset is connected to your self-talk. These include awareness Paying attention to your self-talk allows you to become more aware of your thought patterns. If you catch yourself engaging in negative or limiting self-talk, you can consciously work to shift those thoughts toward a more positive and growth-oriented perspective. Self-perception the way you talk to yourself influences how you perceive yourself. If your self-talk is constantly and consistently negative, it can create a self-fulfilling prophecy where you may start to believe in and act in ways that align with those negative thoughts. Upgrading your mindset involves challenging and changing these negative perceptions through positive self-talk.

Speaker 1:

Resilience Positive self-talk can enhance your resilience in the face of challenges. Instead of viewing setbacks as insurmountable obstacles, a growth-oriented mindset encourages you to see them as opportunities for learning and improvement. By fostering a positive and encouraging inner dialogue, you can bounce back more effectively from setbacks. Upgrading your mindset also deals with motivation. Your self-talk plays a critical role in motivating yourself. Positive affirmations and constructive self-talk can boost your confidence and motivation, making it more likely that you'll approach challenges with a proactive and determined mindset, also a willingness to be open to learning. Upgrading your mindset often involves cultivating a love for learning and a willingness to embrace new experiences. Positive self-talk can encourage this openness by framing challenges as opportunities to learn and grow rather than as threats to be avoided. The way that you talk to yourself can either reinforce a fixed mindset that hinders personal development, or it can contribute to a growth mindset that fosters learning and resilience. By upgrading your self-talk to be more positive, constructive and growth-oriented, you can actively shape and enhance your mindset over time.

Speaker 1:

The tendency to create mental stories or narratives in the absence of complete information is a common cognitive process. For some, this can be influenced by various factors, and certain people may engage in this behavior for different reasons. Some possible explanations for this would include cognitive closure. Some people have a cognitive preference for closure, meaning that they feel discomfort when they're faced with uncertainty or ambiguity. To cope with this discomfort, they may generate mental stories or narratives to provide a sense of order and resolution, even if the information is incomplete. There's also a need for explanation. Humans in general have a natural inclination to make sense of their experiences and surroundings. When faced with gaps in information. The brain often seeks to fill these gaps by creating a coherent narrative. This need for explanation can be a driving force behind the creation of mental stories.

Speaker 1:

Pattern recognition is also a reason that mental stories are created. The human brain is adept at recognizing patterns, even in limited or incomplete information. This ability helps people make predictions and navigate their environment and, in the absence of concrete facts, the brain may generate stories based on perceived patterns to make sense of the situation. Reducing anxiety may be another reason for creating the stories. Uncertainty can be anxiety provoking for some people. Creating mental stories can serve as a way to reduce anxiety by providing a sense of control and predictability, even if the stories are speculative or inaccurate.

Speaker 1:

Influence of beliefs and assumptions personal beliefs, assumptions and past experiences can shape the narratives that some people create in their minds. Pre-existing beliefs may influence how gaps in information are filled, leading to the construction of stories that align with one's worldview. A desire for consistency may be another reason for these mental stories. Most people generally strive for internal consistency in their thoughts and beliefs. When they are faced with incomplete information, some people may construct mental stories that align with their existing beliefs in order to maintain a sense of coherence and consistency. Also, social and cultural factors may be a reason. Cultural norms and social influences can also play a role in shaping the narratives that people create. Society often encourages storytelling as a means of communication and understanding, and some people may unconsciously adopt this approach in their thought processes. Now, while the creation of mental stories can be a natural cognitive tendency, it's essential to recognize that these narratives may not always accurately reflect reality. It's critical to remain open to new information and be aware of the speculative nature of these stories. If someone is unaware that the stories are illogical and missing facts, they may not have the awareness to know that these are just stories made up by the mind. Cultivating mindfulness and a tolerance for ambiguity can help you navigate situations where complete information is lacking without immediately resorting to the construction of mental stories.

Speaker 1:

I mentioned earlier about why some people have propensity to not only have a negative mindset, but to also speak to themselves in a negative way. Our more of your thoughts, negative, are positive. The difference in the two voices is only a millimeter apart. Which voice are you listening to? The tendency to speak to yourself in a negative way and catastrophize situations is usually influenced by a combination of psychological, cognitive and environmental factors. Some reasons why some people may have propensity for negative self-talk and catastrophizing include cognitive distortions. Cognitive distortions are irrational and biased ways of thinking that contribute to negative self-talk. Some cognitive distortions include all or nothing thinking, overgeneralization and catastrophizing. Some people who engage in negative self-talk may be more prone to these distortions, perceiving situations in extreme and exaggerated terms.

Speaker 1:

Low self-esteem People with low self-esteem may have a more negative self-perception, leading to a greater likelihood of engaging in negative self-talk. They may be quick to criticize themselves and interpret situations in a way that reinforces their negative self-image. Past Experiences, negative experiences or traumatic events in the past can shape a person's thinking patterns and contribute to a negative outlook on life. If someone has faced significant challenges or adversity, they may develop a habit of anticipating the worst in future situations. Social and Environmental Influences, the social environment, including family, friends and societal messages, can play a role in shaping self-talk. If you grew up in an environment where criticism was prevalent or where success was consistently downplayed, you may internalize these negative messages. Perfectionism Perfectionists often set unrealistically high standards for themselves and they may engage in negative self-talk when they perceive that they have fallen short of these standards. Manifestation can be a way of magnifying the perceived impact of not meeting these high expectations.

Speaker 1:

Poverty and stress is another reason why some people have a propensity toward negative self-talk. People prone to anxiety may be more likely to catastrophize situations as a result of heightened fear and worry. Stressful life events can exacerbate negative thinking patterns, leading to a cycle of negative self-talk and heightened anxiety. Additionally, some people make every life stressful situation just based on the way they handle it, and let's make a clear distinction between a life event and a problem. We all have life events that happen to us, but for those that dwell on and can't get past certain life events, then these become problems.

Speaker 1:

Lacking of coping strategies may be a reason for an inclination toward negative self-talk. Some people may lack effective coping strategies for dealing with stress and adversity, and when faced with these challenges, they may resort to negative self-talk as a default response, especially if they haven't developed more constructive ways of managing difficult situations. All of these factors tend to be interconnected, and the development of negative self-talk and catastrophizing is often multifaceted. Fortunately, with awareness and intentional effort, anyone can work to change these patterns by challenging negative thoughts, developing healthier coping mechanisms and fostering a more positive and realistic outlook on themselves and their circumstances.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes professional support, such as therapy, can be valuable in addressing and changing negative thinking patterns. I can tell you from experience that dealing with a person that tends to create mental stories and lacks mindfulness can be challenging. Research indicates that there are several strategies that can be employed to navigate interactions with these types of people. Some of these strategies include encouraging open communication, asking clarifying questions and promoting and modeling mindful behavior. Now, I'm sure some of these may work for those invested enough to want to help, but the best help comes from the person who displays these behaviors and is seeking help. If that person refuses professional help but continues an unbeneficial cycle of creating mental stories and lacking mindfulness, two of the best strategies that I have found to be effective include sharing a perspective on what other things could be possible for a situation, in setting boundaries or setting limits on your tolerance for negative stories and the poor, poor, pitiful me attitude. Both of these strategies help shield you from their negativity.

Speaker 1:

There are some ways to upgrade your mindset, and these involve making intentional changes to your beliefs, attitudes and thought patterns. Here are five ways to upgrade your mindset Practice positive self-talk, pay attention to your internal dialogue and challenge negative or limiting thoughts. Replace them with positive affirmations and constructive self-talk. Instead of focusing on what you can't do, emphasize what you can do and identify opportunities for growth. Cultivate a growth mindset. Adopt a growth mindset which involves the beliefs that your abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work.

Speaker 1:

Embrace challenges as opportunities to learn and improve, rather than viewing them as threats. Elaborate effort and perseverance, not just the outcomes. Set realistic goals. Establish clear, realistic goals for yourself. Break larger goals down into smaller, achievable steps. This can make your objectives more manageable and increase your sense of accomplishment. Regularly reassess and adjust your goals as needed to stay on a positive and achievable path.

Speaker 1:

Embrace learning opportunities. View every experience, especially the challenges and setbacks, as a chance to learn and grow. Seek out opportunities for learning and skill development. Embrace curiosity and a willingness to acquire new knowledge. The more you view life as a continuous learning journey, the more adaptable and resilient you become. You can also surround yourself with positivity. Choose to surround yourself with positive influences, including supportive people, uplifting content and environments that foster positivity. Get exposure to negativity, whether it's in the form of toxic relationships, negative news or self-sabotaging thoughts. Creating a positive external environment can contribute to a more positive internal mindset.

Speaker 1:

There are also ways to change negative self-talk to positive self-talk, and this involves consciously challenging and reframing unhelpful thoughts. Some of these strategies to shift your self-talk from negative to positive include practicing awareness. Start becoming more aware of your thoughts. Pay attention to the words you use when thinking about yourself and your circumstances. When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, pause and acknowledge the thought without judgment. Challenge negative thoughts Actively. Challenge negative thoughts by asking yourself if they're based on facts or if they're distorted by irrational beliefs, for evidence that contradicts the negative thought and consider alternative, more positive interpretations of the situation.

Speaker 1:

Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Develop a list of positive affirmations that counteract common negative thoughts. For example, if you catch yourself saying I can't do this, replace it with I am capable and I can handle this. Repeat those affirmations regularly, especially in moments of self-doubt. You can also focus on solutions and croak Instead of dwelling on problems. Shift your focus to solutions and croak.

Speaker 1:

Ask yourself what steps you can take to improve the situation. Embrace challenges as opportunities to learn and develop new skills. And finally, you can cultivate gratitude. Integrate gratitude into your self-talk by acknowledging and appreciating positive aspects of your life. When negative thoughts arise, counterbalance them with thoughts of gratitude Based on what you are thankful for, no matter how small, to shift your perspective toward a more positive outlook. Gratitude works best when you anchor it with emotion. Remember that upgrading your mindset and changing your self-talk is a gradual process that requires consistent effort, practice and self-reflection. So be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way. Additionally, practicing mindfulness techniques such as meditation or deep breathing exercises can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions, making it easier to consciously choose a positive and growth-oriented mindset.

Speaker 1:

This is the usual case for these personal, thought-provoking episodes, where I close with either a clean joke or a quote. I submit this joke for your amusement. The joke is entitled the Wife that Missed the Super Bowl. A man finds his seat at the Super Bowl. The guy asks who in their right mind would miss the Super Bowl, especially with great seats like these? The man next to him lets out a small friendly smile and says Well, actually this was my wife's seat. She passed away recently and we had already purchased tickets. The first guy is taken aback and says oh, I'm sorry for your loss. But then he thanks for a second and says However, don't you think it would have been a nice gesture to take one of her family members to the game. The man looks straight ahead and replies I would, but they're all still at the funeral.

Speaker 1:

Did you enjoy this episode? If so, do me a favor and go to podnboxcom forward, slash k12educationuntangle and leave me a text message or voice message about how you're enjoying my show. You can also show your support for my show by leaving me a review on Apple or Podchaser. This would really help my rankings as well as entice other people to listen to the show. And be sure to share this episode with anyone that you think would find valuable. Be sure to tell your friends, family and community about my podcast. Thanks for listening today. I hope you'll come back for more K12 educational discussions with even more exciting topics to untangle. Be sure to stay tuned. On the next episode, I'll be discussing the link between self-confidence and excelling in school. Until next time, aim to learn something new every day.

Upgrading Your Mindset and Self-Talk
Upgrade Mindset and Self-Talk Strategies